Tag Archive for: soul

Creating is important.

/in ,

I’ve been thinking a lot recently about the importance of creating and giving ourselves room to create.

I just happen to be an incredibly creative person (although I would argue we all are creators…maybe that’s for another post). From the time I wake up to the time I fall asleep, I am constantly dreaming up projects and making creative touches to everything around me. I have come to really love that about myself and yet, it hasn’t always been that way.

Creative types often get a bad rap. We’re too sensitive and moody, or spend too much effort “wasting” our time on a craft that will “make us no money”. Many of my actor friends have been told too many times that they are an “aspiring actor” just because they are not meeting society’s standards of success.

Additionally, I have often been confused by my creativity as it spans many crafts and is not something I can whittle down to just one thing. I am a writer, an actor, a decorator, a fashionista, a cook, a painter, a furniture refinisher, a carpenter, and the list goes on and on. I always felt some sort of pressure to pick just one. What was going to be my “calling”, my “career”, the thing that people would remember me by.

But over the past few years, I have come to see my creativity as limitless. I can do anything that I want! And if I do something for a while and take a break and try something else-hooray for me!

Before Lilah was born I was immersed in theatre, and then after she was born I was writing occasionally and redecorating (aka moving furniture and decor around my house constantly). Now writing seems to be taking center stage, as well as a dance class I will be taking this fall. Who knows what is next! The options are limitless. I can be anything I want to be at any time and give it as much or as little attention as I wish.

Creating is freeing. It is worship to our creator who gave us the ability to do these things. It is recognizing who we are and saying to ourselves, “I will live in alignment with my soul”.

On this rainy day, I am burrowed under the covers as I listen to my baby girl, not nap. I am dreaming up new projects and reflecting on old ones. I am giving myself permission to be exactly the kind of creator I am in this moment. Give yourself permission to do the same.

New Years Resolutions, Dreams, and Motherhood.

/in

I’ve never been much of a resolution gal, but I’ve always been a dreamer. And who doesn’t perch at the beginning of a new year and daydream about what is to come? Some of us make one big goal, some choose a word, some choose so many goals that we collapse overwhelmed three days in.

But as I sit here on my couch, in stillness, my dreams for the new year feel a bit jumbled. There are dreams for my family and our future that come easily and without much coaxing. And there are dreams for just myself-big ones, impossible ones, things that once seemed attainable. But there’s a shift once you have a little person or two relying on you for life…your dreams take a back seat. They just do, it’s the nature of things. And the backseat is fine because they’re still in the car, they’re just not the focus, the one up front controlling the radio. But how do I honor my dreams just as strongly when they’re not in the forefront? Is it even possible to have dreams and change diapers?

Of course there is, right? Women have been doing it for ages. But sometimes when you’re up to your elbows in someone else’s poop, it doesn’t really feel like there are dreams beyond motherhood.

So what do we do? Where do we turn? Do we just throw in the towel and “wait until their older” to honor our souls? Big fat NOPE. Baby steps my friends, that’s how. Because achieving the goal isn’t really the purpose, it’s about honoring ourselves enough to reach towards the goal, and move into the space of accepting our dreams.

This year I’ve come face to face with the reality that I have given up on the dream I have had since I was a little girl: the dream of being a professional actress. I used to stand in front of my mirror and accept an Oscar over and over again. I’d sing the songs from Les Miserables until my throat was sore . But life got in my way a bit, and over the years the dream was pushed to the side. I remember being accepted into college, crying inside that I had never even tried to get into NYU as I had always dreamed.

The truth is, my life has changed. But that dream is still there asking to be acknowledged in some way. And so I will continue to honor it by bravely auditioning for shows in my area, and taking dance classes at 28 years young. And maybe just maybe I will stretch way out far and be an extra in a movie. Baby steps.

There are other dreams too-to write a book, to get back into half marathon shape, to travel more. And they all begin with baby steps. Dreams that I give life to in even the most minuscule of ways. Who cares if I “get there”, all that matters is that I reached towards it, even while momming.

And can I just say friends, let’s not forget that reaching for our dreams is an absolute privilege. I do not take for granted the freedom I have to dream and do something about it.

Dream big this year mamas, and baby steps.

Creating is important.

/in ,

I’ve been thinking a lot recently about the importance of creating and giving ourselves room to create.

I just happen to be an incredibly creative person (although I would argue we all are creators…maybe that’s for another post). From the time I wake up to the time I fall asleep I am constantly dreaming up projects and making creative touches to everything around me. I have come to really love that about myself and yet, it hasn’t always been that way.

Creative types often get a bad rap. We’re too sensitive and moody, or spend too much effort “wasting” our time on a craft that will “make us no money”. Many of my actor friends have been told too many times that they are an “aspiring actor” just because they are not meeting societies standards of success.

Additionally I have often been confused by my creativity as it spans many crafts and is not something I can whittle down to just one thing. I am a writer, an actor, a decorator, a fashionista, a cook, a painter, a furniture refinisher, a carpenter, and the list goes on and on. I always felt some sort of pressure to pick just one. What was going to be my “calling”, my “career”, the thing that people would remember me by.

But over the past few years I have come to see my creativity as limitless. I can do anything that I want! And if I do something for a while and take a break and try something else-hooray for me!

Before Lilah was born I was immersed in theatre, and then after she was born I was writing occasionally and redecorating (aka moving furniture and decor around my house constantly). Now writing seems to be taking center stage, as well as a dance class I will be taking this fall. Who knows what is next! The options are limitless. I can be anything I want to be at anytime and give it as much or as little attention as I wish.

Creating is freeing. It is worship to our creator who gave us the ability to do these things. It is recognizing who we are and saying to ourselves, “I will live in alignment with my soul”.

On this rainy day I am burrowed under the covers as I listen to my baby girl not nap. I am dreaming up new projects and reflecting on old ones. I am giving myself permission to be exactly the kind of creator I am in this moment. Give yourself permission to do the same.

We Are All Falling Short.

/in ,

You know what I’m talking about, right?

On December 31st we are giddy with the excitement for the resolutions, the diets, the hope for the next year. And now here we are, a week and a half in and we are starting to realize that all the baggage we were carrying with us last year is still trailing along behind us.

Wouldn’t it be great if the new year was a door that closed tight behind us, locking all the pain of the last year behind us?

But it doesn’t work that way.

All the yuck comes with us until we work through it.

Some might say we just need to leave the past in the past. But if we haven’t worked through the hard things weighing us down, is it denial to try and walk away from it?

It’s not as simple as just forgetting the pain and moving on. That’s not how our minds and our souls work. We must address the hard stuff, or it will sneak into every part of our lives and take control.

The hardest thing I have ever had to realize is that there is darkness inside all of us.

We don’t really want to go there.

We want to believe that there are bad guys and there are good guys, and that we are the good guys. But we could just as easily become the bad guys if we aren’t honest with ourselves and aware of who we are.

So here is a new year. Same old struggles, same old baggage. We entered January skipping and now midway through we are shuffling along, remembering why last year was so hard.

Let’s look at our lives holistically. Let’s eat right, and exercise, and go to counseling, and meditate, and journal about the really scary things we can’t tell anyone else yet.

Let’s honor ourselves and be honest with ourselves. Honest about our struggles, our addictions, our downfalls.

The places where we feel we fall short are often our greatest gifts.

Allow yourself to fall short. That’s so much more than okay. You don’t need to pretend. We are all falling short. Awesome, right?!

WE ARE ALL FALLING SHORT!

What a relief!

New year my friends. Are we going to live bold, vulnerable, beautifully messy lives?

YES we most certainly will.