if you’re anything like me you experience those twinges of guilt around the holiday season. We know that there are people all around us in need, and we’re stressed about getting all the cookies baked in time, and finding the perfect presents for everyone on our list. My mantra for this season is “moderation, moderation, moderation. Everything in moderation”.

Actually, that’s my mantra for all of life. I am an extreme thinker, and so I often get stuck in the all or nothing mentality. But moderation is key to so many things in life, and Christmas is no different. We don’t need to drive ourselves crazy trying to figure out how to do Christmas right. How many gifts we should buy, how many gifts we can receive without feeling guilty we have too much, how many cookies to eat a day, whether we’ve given enough to the needy this year. There is no quota to reach.

Take a deep breath.

I want to tell you a story of the greatest gift that I ever received.

I was a little girl, maybe 7 or 8 years old, when I saw a pair of clogs in the Stride Right store at the mall. We were there buying sneakers for my brother, and I put those clogs on and walked around and around the store wearing them. They were a mini version of a pair of wool clogs my mom used to wear all the time, so that might have been part of my draw to them. But whatever it was I had to have them.

I left the store that day in a cloud of disappointment. I so badly wanted those clogs, but Christmas had passed, and my birthday was not for another few months. They would be gone by that time. And so life went on, and I forgot about the clogs for a while.

The morning of my birthday came. I ripped open every package with excitement and joy, littering the floor with paper. And then in came my brother, a package in his hands. He handed it to me gently and as I lifted the lid, there were the clogs from so many months ago! The ones I had hoped for and waited for. And even though I was still young, I knew how much my brother had sacrificed for those clogs, the allowances he saved, the things he didn’t buy for himself.

I will never forget the kind of love that sacrifices to buy a pair of clogs for his little sister. Never in a million years.

While Christmas can sometimes be an overwhelming time of money spent and pointless gifts, we can reclaim it. Gift giving doesn’t have to be guilt-driven, or last minute, or even expensive. It has the potential to be such an act of love, and a blessing to those around us.

So don’t get caught up in that twinge of guilt over what Christmas is becoming or how you’re not doing it as well as you could be. But reclaim it in little ways. Give modest gifts to the ones you love, ask for a little bit less for yourself this year (I’m working on it..), give generously of your time and money to those in need.

And in case you were wondering about an opportunity to give to those in need this very moment, I have something for you. Firstly read this post by Glennon Doyle Melton and as you scroll down, through your tears, you will see a link to The Compassion Collective. This is a movement to save the lives of people just like us, who are refugees right now. This is a call to action, a chance to love deeply and bravely. You will be surprised by what your gift could provide a family right now.