Why We Should Write Ourselves Love Notes.

I was scrolling though Twitter today and as usual the newest article on The Onion caught my eye. It was titled “Mom Packs Encouraging Note in Own Lunch“. Beneath the title was a picture of a lunch box and inside a handwritten note that said:

“Hope you’re having a relaxing day so far! Good luck on your presentation-Just be yourself and I just know you’ll do great!”

Funny, right?

But I couldn’t help but think, this is an awesome idea!

Seriously.

How often could I use a pep talk from myself? A lot, a lot.

I write to other people all the time, but somehow it seems odd to write to myself.

But why not?

There is so much power in saying nice things to ourselves.

What a concept, huh?

We build trust in ourselves when we encourage and love ourselves, and that is so underestimated these days.

I think I am going to start writing myself little notes when I’m feeling confident, strong, and full of life. That way, when I feel like crap about myself, I can open my lunch box, or purse, or book and be reminded of just who I am from the very person who knows me best.

 

 

 

What If We Don’t Succeed.

As a little kid I dreamed of a hundred different things I would be when I grew up.

The options seemed endless, the sky was the limit.

I never really considered my life looking any differently than the movie playing in my 13 year old head.

But here I am, 12 years later, and I am doing none of the things I thought I would be doing.

And maybe it’s because of this that I’m starting to notice the people around me also struggling to be something greater than what they are. Wanting to “make it” in some area of their life. Following their dreams like a map.

We’re clinging to our passion as our purpose and that’s dangerous.

 

The cold, hard truth is that these dreams may never come true in the way we are hoping.

People don’t really say that anymore, especially Christians. When it comes to writing, I get a lot of “If you follow God you’ll make it” and “Ask and you shall receive (Matthew 7:7)”.

We may work harder than anyone, put ourselves out there in all of the right ways, and never get to where it is we’re trying to go. God is not in the business of paving a way for our dreams, but fulfilling His glory. So the cold hard truth is that our dreams, the ones that we think our hearts beat for, may never pan out in the way we expected them to.

What then?

Do we throw it all out the window and deem it a waste of time and passion?

Can we tear our eyes away from earthly success long enough to see what God is doing?

I pray we can.

When we’re doing what we love, hoping for a big break; let’s remember who is really in control, and whose hand is guiding everything we do.

 

Getting there is only good when God is leading, anything less is empty.

So if we never live up to our own expectations, never succeed in the way that we thought we would, we can hold on to the knowledge that we are right where we are supposed to be because He has led us there.

 

 

Why We Need To Chill A Little Bit On The “Big Experiences”.

There’s an epidemic that’s sweeping the nation.

It’s one not often talked about because most people see it as entirely freeing, not at all enslaving.

It’s the new thing. everybody is doing it. And if you’re not, you’re missing something.

At least that’s what it would have you think.

No longer are young people like myself graduating college and getting jobs and settling down.

Everyone is searching for something bigger, something better…

ALL THE TIME.

It doesn’t seem like just a phase, or an itch to see the world a little bit, or try new things. It’s this driving force, telling us that we need to be doing something so huge that everyone can see how awesome it is.

It’s this inability to settle into mundane and simple.

Literally we can’t do it.

I was cleaning out my closet the other day, and one of my best friends from college came over to catch up. She sat on my unmade bed as I meticulously went through all of my old clothes in an effort to part with the ones I didn’t need.

And while I worked, we began to talk, and a theme erupted through the conversation.

“Not enough”

We both were feeling like we weren’t doing enough, being enough, experiencing enough.

Interestingly, this has been the theme of so many conversations I have had over the last few months with other friends of mine.

We all feel like we need to be doing something big and bold.

I am NOT saying that we shouldn’t do spontaneous things, follow our dreams, travel the world.

But not everything has to be recognized as a “big thing” by the world around us.

We don’t have anything to prove to anyone else, or even ourselves.

We don’t need to let this driving force of “not enough” take us to a million different places before we realize that what we were following was something empty, not our own hearts, not the heart of our maker.

If you want to travel, or get a new job, or move to a new place then do it!

But you don’t have to.

You really really don’t.

You can stay right where you are and be right where you need to be.

There are big things happening all around us.

The fact of the matter is, that no matter where we are in life or where we’re stationed in the world, there is a purpose for our lives and an adventure to be had.

We can’t lose sight of that because we think that we need to be somewhere else.

We can trust in the one who goes before us, who leads our lives, we can simply follow his direction.

We can rejoice in the life we are living, the adventure all around us, and let go of that controlling force that tells us that we must be doing something else, somewhere else.

Take a deep breath.

Right now, in this moment, we are right where we need to be.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why A Lot Of People Don’t Really Like Christians.

There are so many super obvious, big, reasons why people don’t like christians. They’re usually things that are all over the news and make me not really want to be associated with christians either. But what about the other little things?

When I was in boarding school I had a friend who spoke her mind incessantly. I have her to thank for what backbone I do have now. She was also the first person in my life who really challenged my faith. She wasn’t a christian; in fact pretty much hated christians, and yet, we were friends.

I remember one morning, I was out in the yard (aka a bunch of cactuses and dead grass-it was Arizona) sitting in my crazy creek, reading my bible. It was a Saturday morning, already swelteringly hot. This friend came over and sat down next to me. She threw a few jabs over what I was reading and then paused and looked at me and said,

“Do you really believe that stuff? Or do you just believe it because your family does?”

I looked up at her, ready to say that of course I did, but instead I said,

“I don’t know.”

I think I probably blushed. I couldn’t believe I had said that. What was I thinking? The answer is always that I believe. Always. always. always. How could I have been such an idiot?

That girl saved my life.

She really did.

Because for the first time in probably forever, I realized that I had no clue what I believed. No clue.

Thanks to her, I began a journey to find out exactly what I did believe.

But I also began to wonder, how she saw that inside of me? How she knew that I wasn’t really sure of anything, and how many other people could see that too.

So many of my favorite writers and speakers are making a turn towards vulnerability. A turn towards embracing and then sharing the messiness and the struggles of life.

But in general, I take a step back, and I look at this group of us journeying after Jesus and what I see is a lot of perfection. A lot of trying to “get it right”. A lot of saying the right things. A lot of perfectly dressed for church, and Pinterest perfect houses.

Maybe that’s just  because I am looking in my own mirror. But maybe it’s also because it’s true.

Behind all of those things are hearts that are broken, stories waiting to be told, laundry to be done, faith being shattered.

I think people don’t like us because we look like we’re wrapped up in a nice little bow all the time, not a hair out of place.

Maybe we need to be more concerned with sharing our brokenness, and less concerned with sharing the pretty stuff.

Not that there’s anything wrong with the pretty stuff. I love decorating my house, and putting together outfits.

But maybe that’s not the part of me that needs to be broadcast.

Maybe the part of me that needs to be broadcast the loudest is the part of me that lives in anxiety 90% of the time, and the part of me who doesn’t always believe in God’s goodness, and the part of me who spends some days just surviving.

Maybe that’s what is missing to the people all around us.

The truth.

Maybe we’re so busy showing people how God has changed our lives and how much we are living for him that we’re forgetting to mention that we need him every second or else we fall flat on our smug faces.

“My grace is sufficient for you, because my power is made perfect in your weakness.”                   {2 Cointhians 12:9}

 

Why You Should Never Set Yourself On Fire.

This morning I ran into this quote:

“You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.”

-unknown-

What an incredibly poetic and insightful thing to say.

Have you ever been that person?

The one who sets themselves on fire for everyone else because you feel it’s your duty?

I have.

I think sometimes being surrounded by Christians, we get the message that we need to do anything and everything to serve others all the time.

We get the message that we should be constantly on fire to keep others warm.

Some might argue that Jesus devoted his life to serving others constantly and I would definitely agree.

But there’s another piece to that.

Jesus also said no.

He didn’t go around healing everyone and everything.

He didn’t.

People went un-healed while Jesus walked the earth!

He knew when to draw limits.

He knew when he needed to be alone.

He devoted his whole life to others, but knew the moments that were just for him.

It sounds to me like Jesus really knew himself inside and out. He loved and respected himself enough to set boundaries in his work.

So why don’t we do the same?

We run around like chickens with out heads cut off, trying to fix other people, and serve other people with nothing left in the tank for ourselves.

We are so locked in to loving our neighbor that we forget that we are to love our neighbors as we love ourselves.

If we don’t love ourselves in the deepest, healthiest sense of the word, our foundation for loving others crumbles.

That’s when we become bitter servants. Not joyful servers.

There is so much freedom in loving others and supporting others without carrying the weight of the world on our small human shoulders.

For many of us, our big hearts and deep ache for the world’s sadness, drives us to do a million things half heartedly instead of one thing whole heartedly.

The times will come when we may choose to sacrifice for someone else. And when those times come we will be willing and strong because we are not charred from doing that frantically every second already.

We will not be setting ourselves on fire, but stepping into the fire. It will be a choice and an honor.

Let’s stop setting ourselves on fire to keep everyone warm. It’s not our job to save the entire world with our bitter self-sacrificial servanthood.

We need to love and strengthen our own heart and mind, and be ready to step into the fire when those times come.