Are You There God? Seriously…Are You?

/in ,

Ever felt this way?

Standing on a mountaintop shouting into the abyss hoping there’s someone out there greater than you that will hear you?

Jesus himself even felt that way in Gethsemane. He cried out, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me (Matthew 27:46)”.

If Jesus can say that kind of stuff, then why can’t we?

If Jesus can sit in the midst of pain and suffering and the messiness of life and challenge God, then we can too.

We’re allowed. We don’t have to pretend.

 

 

I fight against my humanness tooth and nail.

I want to be God.

And so I spend a lot of my life standing on metaphorical mountaintops screaming into the abyss.

I am a loud screamer, not always a very good listener.

“If I can just control this one last thing then It will all make sense”, I tell myself.

And then I find myself in these places where I am screaming and screaming and wondering where God is.

And then He tells me that I was too busy trying to be Him, too busy running my own life, too busy perfecting my own life to pay Him any attention.

Crap.

He’s listening to me. He’s sitting with me in my sorrows. He’s walking beside me in my triumphs. But I’m too busy screaming on mountaintops and running my mouth to notice.

I all too quickly forget that when I’m face down on the bathroom floor shaking fists at the sky, He’s sitting there next too me waiting for me to turn around and notice Him.

“Who are you shaking your fists at?” He would say, “I’m right here.”

 

Why You Should Never Set Yourself On Fire.

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This morning I ran into this quote:

“You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.”

-unknown-

What an incredibly poetic and insightful thing to say.

Have you ever been that person?

The one who sets themselves on fire for everyone else because you feel it’s your duty?

I have.

I think sometimes being surrounded by Christians, we get the message that we need to do anything and everything to serve others all the time.

We get the message that we should be constantly on fire to keep others warm.

Some might argue that Jesus devoted his life to serving others constantly and I would definitely agree.

But there’s another piece to that.

Jesus also said no.

He didn’t go around healing everyone and everything.

He didn’t.

People went un-healed while Jesus walked the earth!

He knew when to draw limits.

He knew when he needed to be alone.

He devoted his whole life to others, but knew the moments that were just for him.

It sounds to me like Jesus really knew himself inside and out. He loved and respected himself enough to set boundaries in his work.

So why don’t we do the same?

We run around like chickens with out heads cut off, trying to fix other people, and serve other people with nothing left in the tank for ourselves.

We are so locked in to loving our neighbor that we forget that we are to love our neighbors as we love ourselves.

If we don’t love ourselves in the deepest, healthiest sense of the word, our foundation for loving others crumbles.

That’s when we become bitter servants. Not joyful servers.

There is so much freedom in loving others and supporting others without carrying the weight of the world on our small human shoulders.

For many of us, our big hearts and deep ache for the world’s sadness, drives us to do a million things half heartedly instead of one thing whole heartedly.

The times will come when we may choose to sacrifice for someone else. And when those times come we will be willing and strong because we are not charred from doing that frantically every second already.

We will not be setting ourselves on fire, but stepping into the fire. It will be a choice and an honor.

Let’s stop setting ourselves on fire to keep everyone warm. It’s not our job to save the entire world with our bitter self-sacrificial servanthood.

We need to love and strengthen our own heart and mind, and be ready to step into the fire when those times come.