Life often reminds me of the ocean waves. One moment you’re floating in the salty coolness of calm waters and the next minute you’re holding your breath as a wave crashes over your head, or worse, tumbles you into the sand below.

I’ve always been very sensitive to other peoples emotions, at times it has felt like too much. Like if only I could just focus on myself and block everything around me out then It would be good. But oh how boring my life would be.

My journey of carrying others emotions began, I believe, in the womb. I think I came out knowing deep inside my little self that people were hurting and I couldn’t stand it. Over the years the burden became greater and greater,  my knowledge of things too  overwhelming for a little girl. I resented this “thing” that I had. My dad used to tell me that It was my gift and my curse.

When you carry the burdens of others while ignoring your own needs it doesn’t take long until you collapse in physical and emotional exhaustion. By age 8 I had collapsed straight into an anxiety and eating disorder that would carry through to my college years. I still believed I was strong enough to fix everyones lives, even as mine fell apart.

I wonder sometimes about suffering. I used to roll my eyes when people would tell me that “God’s path was greater than my own”. It seemed ridiculous, preposterous. Whose perfect plan includes a 15 year eating disorder among other things? It made no sense.

I look around me and I see people suffering in every direction. Some bear pain I will never understand. Some bear pain that seems minor to me, but rocks them to their core. Suffering, is a part of life. Suffering, is a part of who we are in Christ.

-2 Corinthians 4:8-12-

“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair;

persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 

We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 

For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. 

So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.”

-Romans 5:3-5-

“Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”

And my favorite, Romans 8:

“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. 

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For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. 

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For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope 

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that

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 the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God.

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We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 

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Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. 

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For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? 

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But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

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In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. 

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And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

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And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who

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 have been called according to his purpose. 

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For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. 

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And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

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What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?

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He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 

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Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 

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Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. 

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Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 

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As it is written:

“For your sake we face death all day long;

we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”

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No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 

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For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,

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 neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 

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neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

There is really no way to say it better. Suffering is such a gift to those in love with Jesus Christ. Suffering is our connection, our gateway, to being more like Jesus. Through suffering God is giving us our life. Without suffering we are an empty shell, less than who we have been created to be. We are missing out. 

To just taste of what Jesus is, I would endure any trial. And in many ways at 24, I have endured many. But there’s a difference now. All trials I face in the future, will have perspective. While I may be screaming and kicking and fighting it in every way I know how, I will be looking straight into the face of Jesus, drinking in his peace and goodness in a way I would never have known without great suffering.

And so I urge you sweet friends, to face all trials looking straight into the face of Jesus. Suffering is a gift if we take it and give it back to Him. It’s not easy, It’s not “safe”, It’s not “normal”, but it is oh so sweet.

I have found that when working with preschoolers, the word “no” comes out of your mouth a lot. Okay, it comes out of my mouth a lot. Usually it comes flying out in a moment of fear or chaos, without even passing through my brain for analysis. So today I decided that I wasn’t going to use it.

As I was driving to work today I was feeling really confident in my ability not to use “no” all day. I rehearsed various phrases to use instead, reciting them over and over, I was ready for anything. For the first hour or so everything was going smoothly (there was a 2 hour delays for most school districts in the area so I only had 1 kiddo for a while). By the time 9 o’clock rolled around, however, I had dropped the “n-bomb” over ten times.

Don’t get me wrong. I consider myself a decently patient person. I’m not running around all day screaming “no” at everyone. However,  I spend my days hanging out with 10 three-year olds (who I love dearly). And those of you who have three year-olds, know what they are capable of. Somehow, no matter how hard I try to swallow the word “no”, it explodes out of my mouth in dire situations, which are plenty in my classroom.

Whether someone is eating something un-edible, or wrestling someone else to the ground, or climbing some piece of furniture; “no” seems to be the fastest and most effective way to convey the danger of the action. Somehow the phrase, “sweet pea that shelf is about to fall over on top of you please get down” doesn’t seem to get the point across that something needs to happen fast. But today I decided to try.

Sometimes my three yr-olds are way smarter than me. Okay, usually they are. I began to realize that I was in trouble today when a small brawl broke out over the play dough. I calmly told those involved that we needed to share, someone was going to get hurt and all that good teacher stuff. I’m pretty sure that no one even heard what I said. As soon as I said “Absolutely not, friends, play dough goes away if you can’t share”, I am visible again. Granted that wasn’t the word “no”, but it was the same idea.

So I learned something valuable today. First off, just because one challenge may seem easier than another doesn’t necessarily mean that it is. Sometimes the ordinary things in life are the hardest ones to change. And secondly, three year-olds need to be told “no” sometimes, and that’s all there is to it. As a teacher it is my job to teach them gently, but firmly, and always with love.

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. 

Proverbs 22:6

http://www.weighitup.com.au/fitness/977/guide-to-surviving-winter

Something about Christmas delays
the feeling of sorrow that accompanies the winter months. But as soon as the
holiday season is over “winter” is upon us, stealing Joy, and warmth, and
adding inches to our waistline by the second.

And as trivial as it all may seem,
winter is tough for everyone. As someone who has struggled to function from November
to April since they were very small, I have developed a few tips that may make
things a little more bearable.

1. BUY A
   HEATED BLANKET. I tell you the truth, I did not live until I had one of
   these. I actually carry it around with me to every room of the house,
   plugging it in as I go. Everything is better when you are toasty warm
   under a blanket. A word of caution, however: Once you are under the
   blanket, you will lose all motivation to complete obligations.
2. START
   DRINKING TEA. I honestly don’t know why anyone wouldn’t love tea. It’s
   like a heated blanket for your insides. I know a lot of people don’t. But
   here’s the thing, not only does it keep you healthy, but it keeps you
   happy. Try not to add extra sugar and junk, stick to honey if you absolutely
   can’t drink it plain. Tea has tons of benefits for your body and can help
   relieve stress, digestive issues, cold symptoms and much more. Seriously,
   give it a shot.
3. GET
   MOVIN’. Okay, so I totally have no authority on this one because although
   I consider myself to be a lover of running, I really struggle to stay
   active when even my bones are shivering and it’s dark before dinner. So
   how do you stay moving? Well, If you have the money buy a treadmill and
   the Total Gym and call it a day. For the rest of us, getting to the gym
   can be pricey and inconvenient. If you have cable, check out the channels
   that offer a variety of workout videos in the am. It may be different for
   different areas, but a lot of major networks are programming
   workouts for viewers. Thanks to good ole’ Google, you can basically type
   in any kind of workout and find someone out in cyberspace to lead you
   through a body busting workout for free. My personal favorite workout
   routine for the winter months is to do handstands and other gymnastics
   moves in the living room while watching my favorite TV shows. So pick one
   and give it a whirl! You’ll have more energy and be happier with your self
   for getting off the couch (and out from under your heated blanket).
4. DRINK
   WATER. This isn’t just good advice for the winter months, but the colder
   it gets, the harder it is to remember to hydrate. I keep a water bottle
   with me at all times. It holds 32 ounces of water, so If I make sure to
   drink about 3 a day I’m good. Once you get into a routine, drinking water
   just becomes a part of your everyday life (as it should). Do not
   underestimate the power of H2O, it helps hydrate your skin and keeps your organs
   working as they should. Water also helps keep off the lbs. and speed
   metabolism.
5. EVERYTHING
   IN MODERATION. Let’s not go crazy with the “after Holiday dieting”…ok? I
   understand that you may have put on a few extra pounds and are desperate
   to lose them, but try not to focus too much on controlling everything
   that’s going into your body. Try to think of food as nourishment. Make
   adjustments to your diet as needed, but do not forbid yourself to eat
   certain foods every once in a while.

I leave you, beautiful people, with
this verse. To me, it is a verse of hope in a season that brings a heaviness I
cannot lift on my own.

Peace I leave
with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not
let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. ~John 14:27~

People have been telling me a lot recently how they wish they loved to run like I do. And it would be so easy for them if they just loved it.

Hmm…

Well, the truth is this:

I haven’t always been a runner. When I was 10, my 8-year-old sister could beat me anytime, anywhere, in any race easily. So embarrassing. In my 6 years playing soccer I avoided running as much as possible and was always last in drills. In middle school and high school I finally landed on swimming and karate as my sports of choice primarily because no running was involved (plus I could hit people on purpose in Karate and get points for it).

It wasn’t like I woke up one morning, and just ran 10 miles screaming “I love running” the entire time. Not even close.

When I first started running in college, I ran one mile maximum at a time, very very slowly. I pretty much hated it. But being a college girl who didn’t like to go to the gym and was terrified of having love handles, I needed a way to get exercise during my swimming off season.

Gradually I started to like running, pushing myself to better my times, further my distances. Very very gradually. And finally, after 5 years and an ankle surgery, I ran my first half marathon.

Even when I take a break from running for a few months and then come back to it,  it takes a few agonizing weeks to get back to where I was before. But I’ll let you in on a little secret…that thing that has led me to love running:::

I suck it up.

That’s right folks. When I’m off on a run and within 1/4 of a mile want to walk all the way home and eat a candy bar instead, I keep going.

I push myself when I hate it, I don’t give up. And that is how I get to the good part of running. The part where you feel like you’re leaving all of your problems behind, and feel awesome about yourself, and get in shape.

So if you’re sitting there thinking you could never be a runner, that is not true. You may never love to run, not everyone does. But if you can push past the starting point and get to the good stuff, it’s really very rewarding.