When Setting Boundaries Is The Best Way To Love.

We have big ambitions.

We want to love every last person on this earth.

We so badly want to reach out to those in need, to be the hands and feet of Jesus, to rescue the broken.

But sometimes guys, it’s not our job.

Sometimes the best way to love is to take a step back.

Relationships are powerful things.

Sitting in the presence of another is a powerful thing.

We are human beings, and we can greatly affect each other.

I have a tendency to melt into people.

I soak up their pain, their sorrow, their brokenness. I soak it in until it is weighing me down like an overfilled sponge. I am no help to anyone when that happens.

And so I am learning to say “no”. I am learning to know my limits when it comes to being in relationship with others.

When someone we love is in pain, we just want to fix it. We want them to know they are not alone, and so we do anything and everything we can to show them they are loved. That we will be there no matter what.

But at what cost?

Do we ourselves begin to crumble under the toxicity of the relationship? Do we begin to lose sleep, our own sanity?

You see, we can love without melting into the other person.

We can say “no” and still care for them.

We can hold boundaries that are necessary for us, and still be loving like Jesus.

In fact, Jesus said, “Love your neighbor as yourself (Mark 12:31)”.

It is just as important to care for our own emotional needs as it is for the needs of others.

And sometimes that means trusting God enough to take a step back. To let go of our need to control the other person’s situation. And to trust God to lead the way.

It’s easy to get so caught up in what we think we need to do to love others, that we forget to listen to God’s voice. We say, “no worries. I got this”, but we forget that we’re not the ones driving the car.

Let’s stop trying to save the world on our own. Let’s stop trying to mend broken hearts in a frantic frenzy because we feel like we need to. Let’s sit back and be still every once in a while, and let the Savior lead us where he needs us.

Let’s relax into the same arms that are holding the world. He’s got this.