Wishing My Life Away.

Day 18. Wishing my life away

I catch myself doing it all the time. Sometimes I’m doing it for an entire week before I even realize it. Waiting for something, wanting something in the future, trying to plan out each little move. I miss moments, hours, days doing this.

I spent a lot of time in college waiting to graduate. Dreaming of a professional job, a husband, a house of my own. I had high hopes for my future, but because I was living for it, I so often missed the present. Sometimes the most beautiful moments of my life are lost as I plan my future instead of enjoying the moment.

I now have those things I once spent so much time dreaming of; a job, a wonderful husband, a house of my own. Yet still I spend so much of my time looking in the future. It seems as though I arrive at what was once the future and then It is no longer my focus and again I am looking to what’s next and missing what is now.

I wonder how much of my life I am missing without even realizing it. How much of my moments have been lost to my thoughts of the future. Does living in the future with all its mystery make us feel in control somehow. Is that why we do it?

I think we can all agree that living in the future is a source of anxiety and pain at times. It’s not all about dreaming of bliss. Living in the future can consist of living in fear of the future, what may or may not happen, how we will be able to handle the hardships. But does living in the future somehow change it’s outcome? Absolutely not. I wish that were enough to stop my thoughts from wandering so far.

This soothes my future-living soul

http://utmost.org/god%E2%80%99s-purpose-or-mine/