Not Saying No.

I have found that when working with preschoolers, the word “no” comes out of your mouth a lot. Okay, it comes out of my mouth a lot. Usually it comes flying out in a moment of fear or chaos, without even passing through my brain for analysis. So today I decided that I wasn’t going to use it.

As I was driving to work today I was feeling really confident in my ability not to use “no” all day. I rehearsed various phrases to use instead, reciting them over and over, I was ready for anything. For the first hour or so everything was going smoothly (there was a 2 hour delays for most school districts in the area so I only had 1 kiddo for a while). By the time 9 o’clock rolled around, however, I had dropped the “n-bomb” over ten times.

Don’t get me wrong. I consider myself a decently patient person. I’m not running around all day screaming “no” at everyone. However,  I spend my days hanging out with 10 three-year olds (who I love dearly). And those of you who have three year-olds, know what they are capable of. Somehow, no matter how hard I try to swallow the word “no”, it explodes out of my mouth in dire situations, which are plenty in my classroom.

Whether someone is eating something un-edible, or wrestling someone else to the ground, or climbing some piece of furniture; “no” seems to be the fastest and most effective way to convey the danger of the action. Somehow the phrase, “sweet pea that shelf is about to fall over on top of you please get down” doesn’t seem to get the point across that something needs to happen fast. But today I decided to try.

Sometimes my three yr-olds are way smarter than me. Okay, usually they are. I began to realize that I was in trouble today when a small brawl broke out over the play dough. I calmly told those involved that we needed to share, someone was going to get hurt and all that good teacher stuff. I’m pretty sure that no one even heard what I said. As soon as I said “Absolutely not, friends, play dough goes away if you can’t share”, I am visible again. Granted that wasn’t the word “no”, but it was the same idea.

So I learned something valuable today. First off, just because one challenge may seem easier than another doesn’t necessarily mean that it is. Sometimes the ordinary things in life are the hardest ones to change. And secondly, three year-olds need to be told “no” sometimes, and that’s all there is to it. As a teacher it is my job to teach them gently, but firmly, and always with love.

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. 

Proverbs 22:6